Zombie Double Feature Previews

I am half way through a Zombie/Stripper double feature, so I thought I would post the trailers for the two films I am watching...

Zombie Strippers


Zombie Zombies Zombies: Zombies vs. Strippers

Dance of the Dead

I just realized that I am posting back to back zombie-of-the-dead reviews. In truth, I have watched quit a few movies since my last post, but they have all been mentioned here before, so I skipped duplicating reviews. Back to Dance of the Dead. If I had written and directed my own zombie movie, it would have closely resembled Dance of the Dead. I really enjoyed the prom as the setting for a zombie invasion and I thought the movie was kind of awesome! Before I get into the review itself, I should mention that this film is part of a new collection called Ghost House Underground. (Check out the company, with links to the Underground releases, here.) The release is similar to the Films to Die For collections that have been released. Ghost House is the name behind The Grudge and 30 Days of Night, so I bought four of the Underground movies based solely on the synopsis and price at Best Buy. I was torn on which one to watch first, but zombies always beat slashers for me.

My version of the plot: On prom night a group of High School students must fight a zombie plague created by the nuclear power plant in town. Now students who normally avoid one another must band together and kick zombie butt!
My first thought: Low budget + old school special effects = awesome. I associate well with the scifi club geeks.
My "almost closed my eyes" moment: Near the end, one zombified girl bites the tongue off of an unsuspecting boy during a kiss. Ick. Then the scene became awesome as both teens, now zombies, enjoyed a makeout session that included biting off parts of each others faces. Again, awesome!
My gore-meter: 8 out of 10! There were heads smashed, body parts shot and ripped off, and flesh eating. Go zombies!
My recommendation: While Dance of the Dead will never compete with Romero, I found the film entertaining and worth watching. Zombies are always cool and zombies at the prom? Even better. Plus the throwback special effects are refreshing in a horror world filled with CGI.
My SPOILER moment: I'm not sure if there is any spoiling a zombie movie. They all follow a particular formula: zombies, hapless humans, mass victim count, at least one beloved character dies. No surprises there. I did really love the scene where the main couple share a romantic dance amid the distracted undead surrounding them.

Was it scary? I think Dance of the Dead was more 'fun' than scary. In my opinion anyhow.

Flight of the Living Dead

Time to kick off the countdown to Halloween! Only 29 days left to watch all my favorite horror films, (with some new ones thrown in for good measure,) until I have little kids ringing my doorbell begging for candy! I think a zombie movie is always an appropriate way to start a long-lasting horror marathon. Flight of the Living Dead, while cheese-filled, was highly enjoyable. Then again, I can't think of a single zombie movie that has disappointed me...

My version of the plot: When a medical experiment (read: zombie chick,) being held in the cargo area of a commercial flight to Paris is released during heavy turbulence the plane is quickly overrun with zombie passengers. Now it is up to a few survivors to beat down the zombies, make it to the cockpit, alert the military jets that they are alive and land the plane before everyone dies.
My first thought: Who lets a guy on an airplane with an automatic weapon? Also, isn't that the guy from Kindergarten Cop? I think it is!
My "almost closed my eyes" moment: One zombie got shot in the junk. I felt a little bad for him, but I never look away during a zombie movie!
My gore-meter: 8 out of 10! Like any good zombie movie a large chunk of the budget went to fake blood and ripping flesh makeup.
My recommendation: Flight of the Living Dead is not as funny as Black Sheep and lacks the cult following of Dead-Alive but is a nice addition to the zombie catalog. Plus I thought the idea of zombies on an airplane was refreshing.
My SPOILER moment: It is a testament to the formula used in every zombie movie that at the very end both my husband and I asked, in unison, "where are the zombie survivors that will carry on the zombie plague..." And we were rewarded. (Though I highly doubt there will actually be a Flight of the Living Dead 2.)

Was it scary? Only if zombies are particularly scary to you. Other than a few jump-from-surprise moments I never got chills.

Evolution of a Vampire

Vampire movies have always been popular. I might be biased in that I love vampire-related anything. I've been wanting to post about how vampire movies have evolved over the last 90 years for some time. I recently bought a PS3, solely for its Blu-Ray capabilities, and with it I acquired a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula. (The 1992 movie with Gary Oldman.) I also bought Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. There is a running theme with my Blu-Ray collection...So I thought I'd mention some of the, in my opinion, greatest vampire movies ever made and what makes them special.

Nosferatu (1922) - Also known as Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (A Symphony of Horrors.) Nosferatu is a silent film that still scares me to this day. He was the scary, ugly, evil vampire that started cinema's fascination with creatures of the night. Nosferatu is fun to watch if you are interested in an original interpretation of the book by Bram Stoker. It should be noted that Stoker's widow settled a lawsuit against the film that resulted in the destruction of the film in America. Thankfully, copies survived in other countries.

Dracula (1931) - Two words here: Bela Lugosi. He's the reason to watch this one. Also to see where the stereotypical vampire look came from. I've only seen this movie a couple of times, so my opinion is limited. Dracula is scary in this one, but not strikingly ugly like Nosferatu.



Dracula (1958) - This version has Christopher Lee as Dracula, which rocks. The Dracula stereotype is re-affirmed and the character is still evil. The special effects are bloodier, and Dracula has almost no lines in the film. Dracula was pretty scary in this one!



Dracula (1979) - Enter the 'sexy' vampire. Frank Langella shifted Dracula from mystical and scary to sexy and mysterious. Women stop fearing Dracula and start wanting to date him. (And by 'date' I mean have sex with...) This particular version was adapted from the Broadway play, so the plot differs more than others.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) - This is a crucial turning point in vampire movies. The character of Dracula garners empathy from the audience and the movie focuses more on a love story than the hunting of a vampire. This version is my favorite. Gary Oldman made Dracula incredibly sexy while still frightening. Yet I root for him to win in the end every time I see the film. The whole package is stunning, from the costumes to the musical score. The makeup alone is worth seeing. Did I mention that Monica Bellucci plays one of Dracula's brides?


Underworld (2003) - Dracula is out and female, kick-ass vampires are in. Kate Beckinsale made vampires fighters, and damn sexy ones at that. Action takes the place of drama and Mina is nowhere to be found. I like this movie because it made vampires the good guys and the bad guys but with way more explosions and gun battles. I am all for that! The Underworld movies took the cheese factor out of vampire movies. Does some cheese still slip by? Can you say Dracula 2000?

Alright, I know I'm leaving out a plethora of vampire movies and that includes some of my personal favorites, but come on...how long should this post be? The fact of the matter is that all vampire movies are different interpretations of the same general characters. Drink blood, live forever, have mysterious powers, and avoid stakes to the heart. Watch them and enjoy.

Sick House

I know that Sick House is a weak movie to return with after weeks of neglect, but I have been a little busy lately. Sick House was yet another movie that I saw on the shelf at Best Buy and thought "eh, looks entertaining enough". With a relatively unknown cast and a seriously stretched plot concept I admit that the movie had its moments.

My version of the plot: When a young archeologist's excavation site in London is closed and quarantined due to the presence of plague she sneaks in late at night to collect any data she can before the site is demolished. She then unknowingly releases the spirit of a psychotic, murderous plague doctor who killed children centuries earlier. Throw in four rowdy teens evading police and the result is a bloodbath.
My first thought: Hey, that plague doctor is kind of scary...and wow, they took serious liberty with historical fact there! Oh, and that chick was in Jeepers Creepers!
My "almost closed my eyes" moment: The pregnant girl has the baby cut out of her. Gross. Psht...see if I ever trust a plague doctor...wait, you say there is no massive plague epidemic these days?
My gore-meter: 9 out of 10! The imagery used is akin to Stay Alive.
My recommendation: Not at the top of my list, but not tragically bad either. If you are a fan of the American-made Japanese horror copies, you might enjoy Sick House. That said, it does have a twist to the end.
My SPOILER moment: Everyone dies. There, I said it. The idea that the whole movie was taking place frozen in time was fairly cool. Still kind of a bummer though.

Was it scary? Horror movies these days have shifted in the opposite direction of older movies. It used to be uncommon for the ending to be one where the "bad guy" wins. Today, Sick House being no exception, it seems that every horror film has an ending where evil prevails. If every movie has that ending it shifts from scary to predictable.

Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (AVPR) is the sequel to a movie that pits two of my greatest childhood fears against one another. Alien was, I think, the first scary movie I ever watched. My family's tradition on Thanksgiving was a meal with friends and a viewing of Predator; on laserdisk, no less. As a child I actively participated in the debate over who would win in a battle: Alien or Predator? I always voted Alien...they had acid for blood! AVP created back-story that made the Predators hunters of Aliens for pride. Okay, that works. I actually liked AVP, so I bought AVPR knowing it would satisfy in the gore department.

My version of the plot: When a Predator ship carrying Aliens and an Alien/Predator hybrid crashes near a Colorado town a lone Predator receives the distress signal and lands in the middle of an all-out slaughter while trying to contain the "outbreak" of Aliens.
My first thought: Pathetically, I got a little confused in the beginning, but I think the ship that crashed had a lab inside that was experimenting with the Alien face-suckers.
My "almost closed my eyes" moment: Maybe I am getting soft, or maybe my maternal clock is getting in the way, but the scene where the Alien attacked the maternity ward and the pregnant lady's stomach exploded with Alien fetuses kind of upset me. That was screwed up.
My gore-meter: 10 out of 10! Plenty of heads being blown off by the Predator and lots of people being killed by Aliens in creative ways completes the gore necessity.
My recommendation: AVPR is not for the squeamish, or the movie snobs. It has sweet special effects, big battle scenes and lots and lots of blood. Extra points to AVPR for having moments that made me say aloud "whoops, didn't expect that!"
My SPOILER moment: I re-watched the ending with the Director commentary and it explained that the end scene where the Predator's gun is presented in a military compound with a woman saying that it's "not for our world" is supposed to be the gap filler between present day and the future settings of the Alien movies. The gun is supposed to spark the technological advances needed to build space ships and stations that result in Ripley and her story years later.

Was it scary? Aliens and Predators are always scary.

Uwe Boll

Last night I watched In the Name of the King, the latest Uwe Boll film. The movie was not really horror. At all. So I thought I might as well weigh-in on Uwe Boll's films. I have a confession: I like most Uwe Boll films. Despite his notoriety as one of the worst directors in film history (he has been called a "high-budget Ed Wood",) I love his movies. Maybe I should first say that my opinion on films probably does not mean much to others. I have super-low standards. A perfect movie for me has four things: explosions, fight scenes, boobs and limited plot. It's true. Most of the people I talk to have either walked out of a Uwe Boll movie or asked for a refund after seeing it. Not me; in fact I own several. My favorites?
House of the Dead
Probably my favorite Uwe Boll movie. I love zombies, and I loved the video game of the same name. I know that the acting is bad, none of the chicks have real boobs and the plot holes could engulf China, but I love it anyway. One chick gets ripped in half! That's entertainment people!


Bloodrayne
Vampires? Yes please. Kristianna Loken? I'll have some of that too. Bloodrayne got two and a half stars out of ten on imdb. Sure, it has laughable dialog and bad acting, but is that why you watch it? NO! You watch it to see the 'terminatrix' kick a little ass.


Alone in the Dark
By far the most criticized movie. And yes, I find the idea of Tara Reid as a brilliant anthropologist as preposterous as the next guy, but I have to admit that Stephen Dorff makes that movie for me. I just love him. Not to mention Christian Slater. Again, I am not asking for much (see above movie standards.) Plus I think Uwe Boll got ripped off on this one. The movie was supposed to follow the video game plot line, but at the last minute the games' creators had a change of heart and completely redid the game and its story.
The craziest part of Uwe Boll films is that he always gets fairly stellar casts. (With the exception of House of the Dead.) Believe me when I say that Uwe Boll is not for everyone, and I probably lose a lot of "coolness" (like I ever had any,) for admitting that I like his films, but I really do believe that people are too quick to judge his efforts. I know, I am probably alone out there. Still, I have Uwe Boll to keep me company.